I don’t want to deal

This blog is just a free following piece about my day and feelings. I am sure it will be riddled with a ton of grammar mistakes, but that is my natural state of being. I am completely imperfect.

It’s a cold day in Brooklyn. I do not want to go outdoors but I must as my job is to be there. Most of the time I do not mind it, but today, it just seems unmeasurable in torture.

My daughter is sick, and I feel I should be here for her. I don’t see her enough and here I go, leaving her when she needs me. I worry that my actions will mess her up somehow, but I try not to think of it. I have to work. I have to provide support to her and my family.

I always worry that I am never good enough. I am also self-absorbed and stuck in my head. I keep wondering of what could be instead of what is now. I try to think of ways to be more present, but sometimes I fail. I am just not ready to deal.

It is cold out today, and I don’t want to deal. I would rather be indoors and help my child heal.

#family #familyandfriemds #familyframes #freeflow #anxiety #sick #anxietyhelp #anxietyrelief #anxietydisorder #anxietyattack #anxietysucks #random #rambles

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tamelansmile

Who am I? I am the lady with the mind that never sleeps, and I am always a little odd. I have an entrepreneur spirit, a do-gooder, and an amateur writer. I dedicate myself to helping others and following a good life. Often, people wonder how I manage things I do. The reality is I have unshakable GRIT. Ever since I could remember, I’ve been coming up with ideas and projects or goals to tackle. I find much satisfaction in choosing a goal and seeing it through until the end. It’s how I learn and grow as a person. I’m continually trying to learn how to be better at things that matter, like living intentionally, appreciating people, and following the path of helping others. Some of my favorite things in life include our sweet daughter Charlotte, Brooklyn, NYC, frosting Chinese food, and the Full Moon. I hope you’ve enjoyed learning a little bit about me, my photos, and customized services. Feel free to email me at tamelansmile@gmail.com.

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